Slack day today. Bosses all out so have been reading food blogs and recipes with the most WONDERFUL PICTURES and drooling at my desk. AM HUNGRY! WANT FOOD! Someone please deliver some blueberry scones with cream cheese to my workplace and I promise I'll love you forever. Before my hols are up, I want to go back to Toast and Max Brenner's and Island Creamery. And to try Godiva's Chocolixir and Gobi's miniature desserts and Patara. Another round of fragrant olive rice and curried softshell crab at Thai Express, some Ben&Jerry's strawberry cheesecake and creamy soup with pastry at Country Manna. Ribs at Lawry's and baked pasta at Spageddies and dan dan mian at The Asian Kitchen and prata from Casuarina Curry.

Am going to keel over with anticipation.

Had my smu interview today. Got lost for awhile in smu after that. My sense of direction is terrible, I tell you. After that I had a raspberry pistachio scone at Cedele! Yummy. :) And subway! Am pig. And also am back at office now, which is rather sad. I want law, but I'm really, really attracted to SMU. Howcome NUS has a monopoly on all the law students?

Sick and saddened. Sad and sickened. Dreams never last for long.

I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know

~We Might As Well Be Strangers, Keane

I love fridays! It's kind of sad, how much I look forward to weekends. I love the luxury of being able to get up late, even though now on weekends I tend to get up at seven like clockwork. I swing between loving and hating my job. I love it cos it seems I get paid to sit here slacking and going online. When there is work, it's routine in a relaxing way. But the phone scares me a little. Demanding customers it spoil my mood for days after. Pleasant people make me unnaturally happy.

Baked a dark chocolate cake last night! It turned out well. Next time I shall make frosting to go with it. The thing is, I never quite have the patience to slather on frosting and wait for it to harden in the fridge. I must eat the cake now. Baking is a terribly expensive hobby. Not in the same league as horse-riding or antique-collecting, but expensive nonetheless. That's one benefit of going grocery shopping with my family- I don't pay. :)

Have yet to watch V for Vendetta, and everyone keeps telling me how good it is! Was supp to watch it on wed with jy and glen but due to GV's terrible timing we missed it and went on a food spree instead. Let's see, I had olive rice and some tapioca dessert at Thai Express, and right after that we went to Long John Silvers for two set meals, with shrimp and chicken and fries and salsa cheese. MUST JOG.

JY ROCKS! :) Hoho I spent all last month diligently deleting stuff from my work com cos there wasn't enough space to download MSN. And after I was finally able to download it, there was some stupid popup saying the administrator had blocked it. And so yest she introduced me to web messenger! Which, together with the wonderful invention email, saved me from falling asleep at my desk this morn. Work is exciting and challenging, I know.

Had sushi at Ichiban yest followed by banana crumble at Swensens with the girls yest! The banana crumble was absolutely sinful. Perfect dinner. I love banana desserts. I also like making banana desserts, come to think of it. Shall make bread and butter pudding and streusal-topped banana/blueberry/both muffins this weekend! Can't wait. Realised that my shopping lists are starting to sound more like grocery lists:
1. Pretty slingbacks
2. Raisins
3. One punnet of blueberries
4. Almond extract
5. A4-sized bag for uni
6. One lemon

Am a terrible snacker. I've got in my drawer a tube of Ballerina (cookies with a hazelnut cream filling), a tube of mint-filled chocolates, one Kinder Bueno chocolate bar and a bag of assorted sweets. Also, on the cabinet behind me, one big packet of Chips More.

My future is in the hands of a bunch of uni admissions staff, and I hate the feeling of utter helplessness. Their decision will determine which of two drastically different paths I'm going to take, and I want that decision to be made now. I don't want to hang around waiting for months, wondering which it is, which is what I'm doing now.

It seems like everyone's going places and I'm still stuck in sunny Singapore. My fault entirely, seeing as I didn't even apply, but still. :(

Watched Amelie yesterday, it's the ultimate feel-good movie. Sometimes I think I'd like her laidback boho lifestyle. A nice little apartment of my own, a waitressing job at The Two Windmills, and all the time in the world to bake and read and do whatever I want. And I think, I can. I can very well decide to drop out of the rat race, to give myself time (I realised that I have been, unconsciously, planning my time in segments a la Samantha Sweeting in Undomestic Goddess), to just not care anymore about grades or a career. It'd be so easy, to end this life (not in a suicidal way, mind) right here and start a new one. Technically it'd be easy. In reality it'd be absolutely impossible. I am the queen of reality checks- I'd get bored of it, I'd be unsatisfied, and ultimately, what keeps me challenged and makes me happy is being in the rat race. Is that what I really think, or what I've been conditioned to think? Why is it I am unable to consider myself being out of the rat race, only left behind?

On a lighter note, am meeting JGD and rah for dinner at Ichiban later. Yay, towning and sushi and friends make me happy. I want my lobster salad and softshell crab makis! :)

The lyrics of this song keep running through my head, for some reason:
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend

Goodness everytime I think about apps I get this terrible sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. What to apply for, where to go, what to do, what to do next- people keep asking and asking and I can't say I DON'T KNOW. I need a compass. I don't want to just apply for everything and hope for something, but it seems that's what I'm doing. Do I even want a double degree? Can I afford a double degree? Can I afford the time? And scholarships are another big headache. Should I even try? Is it worth the trouble? So many essays to write and I feel like saying, forget it, I'll pay.

Aarh. Shall take haz's advice. Smile lots. Do sth creative. Plug in and tune out.

Class dinner yesterday. Somehow Marche was closed again so we went to Breeks instead. How is it guys have so much to exchange about army? I mean, they're all in the same camp, doing the same things, and they've been talking about it for the past 5 class outings anyway.

Today I went to DBS to get some customers' stuff verified. It was a nice surprise to discover that Ikea was right there, so I had my lunch at Ikea and went on a mini Swedish food spree. I realised, I love spoiling the people I love.

Read URBAN today on the MRT. It always makes me feel like shopping. It makes me feel for a moment that clothes and fashion and perfumes are the most important things in the world. Quite bad, actually, but I love my URBAN. Wanna shop. Haven't done so properly in ages.

Someone entertain me.

Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
So part of the plan
When something is broken
And you try to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way you can
I'm diving off the deep end
You become my best friend
I wanna love you
But I don't know if I can
I know something is broken
And I'm trying to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way I can

~ X&Y, Coldplay

Pretty song.

What happened to Rory Gilmore? I'd like to ask that of myself as well.

Am in a strangely lighthearted, boppity mood. Been smiling to myself all day! Also saw a damn pretty bag during lunch. But I just bought a bag less than a month ago. Ah well. Shall see. If this month I don't buy anything else I may get the bag. Hoho my colleague came to me for help translating some speech from english to chinese!! And she also asked me how to write some chinese words!! Am expert! :) Ooh my aunt brought us some cake. Looked qt gross and dry, but it turned out to be this surprisingly soft chocolate peppermint sponge cake. Yummy!

Baked banana muffins yest after work! And they turned out all soft and moist and yummy. Yay. :) Kinda makes up for the lemon cupcake disaster on Saturday. Am v bored at work since termination season is over. Am no longer called The Terminator. Am waiting for applications to process, I know there's a tall stack of them coming soon. They always come at a go. It's terrible.

It's International Women's Day today! Here's to lip gloss and high heels and obsessions with butterflies; here's to The Little Black Dress and CLEO and sleepovers where no one sleeps; here's to chick lit and pearls and crying at movies. I know, I am about three inches deep.

Bought two tops during lunch! Yay. Haha as well as a bottle of Fairprice Special Light Sauce, at the request of my mommy. Am stressed. :( Can't wait for June to come.

Yay am looking forward to dinner later with jgd later. Thai, my fav type of cuisine. :) Ohh yest my mom and I went shopping and I bought some working clothes! A skirt and a pair of pants, standard stuff. Haha cos my mom was complaining that my working wardrobe is v boring. Shouldn't it be the other way around? It's like one of those mother-daughter role-reversals.

Wednesday was D-Day. Was perfectly calm and collected up till 30 seconds before I actually received my results. The results were a disappointment, to be honest. Was numbed for awhile before I was able to collect myself and call up my parents. But I've come to terms with it. It's not the end of the world.