This is ridiculous. I can't even remember the last time I went online without feeling guilty. I mean, yes, the prelims are so very near, but still. Right. Shall not scare anyone with more talk of exams.

Today glen jy ping and I watched Down With Love. [*WARNING: Spoilers!] I enjoyed every bit of it. Except, well, the part where Renee was just talking and talking and they kept filming her face from the same angle for about five whole minutes; that was quite boring plus I was totally flabbergasted at the plot twist.

Other than that, it was really entertaining, especially the part where they were on the phone and the filming made it look like they were doing naughty things. That was really funny; I loved that part. And Ewan was really... well... hot. Yes. I know I'm being really, uh, boy-crazy and all but he is. He and Renee have wonderful on-screen chemistry. I want to watch it again!

CHEERS, baby. Here's to love!

TOM FELTON!!!!!!!!!!!

Aww, I'd marry you if you ask and we'd live in England in a lovely cottage with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids and I WON'T EVEN MIND THE DOG!!! And you can go fishing everyday and I'd wake up at 5am every morning to pick flowers for our sitting-room-vase and bake fresh bread and go berry-picking to make jam and on Sundays I'd even churn butter as a special breakfast treat!

Uh, and I'd clean too.

...

Today I made a horrible discovery: there are exactly 11 Ron / Luna [I can't even type their names together!] fics on ff.net!

... That's just... hmph. Well, after I saw that I went to the R/Hr page and there are 112 pages! So I felt much better. Yay.

:)

XVIII

1. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
2. Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
3. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
4. And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
5. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
6. And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
7. And every fair from fair sometime declines,
8. By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
9. But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
10. Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
11. Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
12. When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
13. So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
14. So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Sigh. Normally I'm not into Shakespeare, but this is just so utterly romantic. Especially in here.

Academics-wise, today has been absolutely horrible.

Firstly, I failed my first math test of the year. And what wonderful timing, too; it's 68 days before the O's and I'm failing math. Plus it was A Math. I like A Math [well, more than E Math anyway]. And usually I don't mind calculus. The fact that I did badly on this test was a really, really big blow. I mean... this is math. If I don't do well for Math then what am I going to count on for my L1R5?

Also... chemistry. Chem mock was seriously bad. It didn't feel bad while I was doing it but it was. Plus Mrs. Hoo had to tell us that we were marking our own papers so after I finished I didn't bother checking through and went straight ahead to mark it. And I got a grand total of ...50/80! And I was being lenient with myself! Congratulate me, everyone, on getting the lowest chemistry grade our class has ever had the horror to experience. I walked part of the way home with Min Min, who said that she didn't study and so only got a 50 for chem.

... I studied!

... Granted, it was for about two hours but still I studied.

...

Great.

...

This is such a waste of space.

...

I saw a dead butterfly on my way home today. It was black, with big yellow spots.

...

What a sad entry.

People tell me that I haven't been smiling as much lately. They ask why I've been so quiet and withdrawn these couple of days [weeks?].

The thing is, I have noticed. I do know that I've been quiet/indifferent/whatever to the point of being anti-social. It's not good, I know, but I can't help it. I can force a smile, but I can't force a genuine one.

Maybe it's stress. Or maybe it's that I've changed. Or something. I don't know. You know how it is when something weird's going on and you don't know what the hell it is even though it's happening with regard to you and you're supposed to know?

Either way, I've decided that I must learn to take things easy. If I want something, I'll go for it. But not to the point where I start crying because I think I can't.

There's just so many many MANY things to do these days.

It's really hard trying to deal with studying, coping with all the extra workload and revision tests and what not, as well as my hedonistic tendencies and that tempting shelf of books in the corner. And weekends are purely for catching up on sleep-and-studies.

It's horrid. I don't know how much more of this I can take, and the intensive preparation for the O's hasn't even started yet. Now we're in the period of preparation of intensive studying and I'm already starting to wilt.

I've always been the sort of person who's perfectly well and enthusiastic at the start, but I'm not very consistent and that always creates a problem. Such as in the 2.4km run. I tend to lose steam halfway through, and I'm scared this happens in the case of my studying as well.

These few weeks I've had really low lows, and not just because of academic stress. I'm so scared.

I cannot screw this up.

Dear Computer,

Will not be touching you for about a week or so.

P.S. Say hi to the other blogs for me!

Love, Cheryl.

I bought the 'The Hours' vcd today and watched it.

Conclusion? I really, really love it. I have the book which I really enjoyed, especially the second time I read it, but the movie was great as well. Most movies completely spoil the books they were made for, but this one actually managed to almost live up to the book.

Needless to say, Nicole Kidman was amazing and looked really good despite the prosthetic nose [as lovely and elegant as usual, just different]. And Julianne Moore played her part fantastically. Her acting was so... real. So true to character.

Granted, there wasn't much plot and you probably wouldn't understand a lot of it if you haven't read the book, but it was great nonetheless. [Though it's probably the sort of show Beek would fall asleep at. I can't believe she found You've Got Mail boring!] The sets were especially beautiful. Early twentieth-century England and modern New York and all.

Sigh.

Exciting new discovery of the day: r/hr fanflicks!

My dad just gave me a crash course in the electricity part of physics, and I feel... enlightened.

Just... wow. I feel like a veil - well, no, not a veil, more like a thick, coarse, ugly piece of sackcloth - has been lifted off my head and I can finally see the light.

I don't know how I ever managed to pass physics before, when I had no idea what voltage and all that crap was. My dad was quite shocked at the questions I asked. I felt really stupid, but now I feel great! Yay.

And for the time being, physics is actually... fun. :)

i'm sick of your excuses.
i'm sick of your lies.
i'm sick of your 'i-had-no-idea!'s.
i'm sick of your face.
i'm sick of your smile.
i'm sick of that which is so fake i can scarcely stand to look at it.
i'm sick of your saccharine-sweetness.
i'm sick of your insecurities.
i'm sick of your insincere words.
i'm sick of the way you are a puppet.
most of all, i'm sick of the way you remind me of me.
i'm just sick of you.
please just leave.

crapcrapCRAP. i feel like crap. i AM crap. i don't know what to feel anymore. i just finished the vectors homework we were given. i spent two-and-a-half bloody hours doing it. two and a half hours on four questions. i don't know what's wrong with me. i'll fail amath if i continue at this rate. imagine failing math. the one and only subject i've been able to count on while flunking the rest of the subjects on and off. and what sick timing. with the o levels just three months away. less than three months, in fact, something i discovered two days ago. the horror. the horror. the horror. and i have to keep repeating that till i think of something more to say other than all this insignificant rambling. crap. i really must do something about my math. or, well, my understanding of vectors. i just don't get it. mrs yeo tells me one thing, my dad tells me another, and the textbook's just useless. how am i supposed to get my a1 like that? HOW? oh dear accidentally pressed caps. aarh. i hate this. i got thru one and a half years of amath perfectly well. and now it's august, and now nothing's perfect nor well. this wasn't supposed to happen. not now.

My IQ score is 135.

Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician.

This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace.


Ooh. Like Einstein.

I have made the profound discovery that studying the mammalian chapters for bio while eating a hamburger, a large part of which is made from dead cow, isn't exactly good for one's appetite.

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?

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obsessive compulsive


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