Ooh. Am feeling extremely happy at the moment.

The prelims are over [... let's not think about the O's now, shall we?], and despite the fact that today's Chinese paper was easily the most disgusting I'd ever had, it's over. No need to deal with it till I absolutely have to, which is next week.

Went to Orchard, for the first time in something like three weeks. That's almost like a record for me. My mom bought the Amelie vcd for me. I cannot wait to watch it. Oh, and guess what was waiting for me when I came home? My SQ shirt! Lovely lovely, newly-shipped from the USA. And just nice, on the last day of exams.

Whoo yay. Fun.

-Peers over at sidebar-

I realise that my reading list hasn't been changed over the past couple of weeks. It's been something like a month, and the only modification in there is that I took 'Almost French' off because I finished it. It's horrible, the way I'm neglecting my reading to study for a bunch of stupid papers. Well. All this will change tomorrow, cos the prelims will be over by then! Oh yay. Oh yay. I am incredibly excited. Am in serious need of some retail therapy.

-Peers over at sidebar again-

I know I said I was going to be committed to H/G, but... I read an echo fic. Or, well, I read parts of echo fics. It's not my fault! You read an echo fic and try to tell me you don't adore D/G! Just try!

I would have burned for you.

There are two days of prelims left. Three papers. Only three. And then it's over. OVER.

Right. Tell myself to just work hard - study till I literally bend over and collapse - till Tuesday. It isn't that hard. It shouldn't be that hard. Except for the fact that I have this thing about not taking my own advice. This microscopic portion of my brain will be screaming 'Study! Study! Get your sorry arse off the computer chair and go learn about the chemical properties of sulphuric acid!' Or something. But of course the cerebral hemisphere or the medulla oblongata or whichever part that decides what I'm eventually going to do will not listen. Hmph.

Oh! I have decided that I like ballet slippers. I really like them. They're all pretty and just this shade of pale pink that is quite impossible to describe. And I love the lacing. Criss-crossing the pink satin ribbons up your ankles. So lovely. Ha. But only to look at. I can't possibly wear them. It'd practically be a sacrilege, with all my accident-proneness and two left feet.

Ooh. 50 is really quite a pretty number indeed.

If this keeps up, I don't see how I'll be able to make it into JC for the first three months.

Bio was just... bad. From the fact that I couldn't draw the villus [and I practiced! On Saturday!] to the fact that I guessed my way through the MCQs. It sucked royally. [And, by the way, that's my new favourite phrase: "_______ (fill in subject) sucks royally." It just does.]

And I realised there's yet another hitch in my study plans- I'm not a D/G shipper anymore!

I was supposed to read the R+J-themed D/G fics so that I could get all psyched up to study for tomorrow's lit test. Unfortunately, due to very bad timing, I have decided that Ginny must go with Harry and no other.

... So, scratch that idea then.

Or, well, just one teensy peek at a D/G fic wouldn't be much harm, would it? It's for a greater good, after all. Plus as long as I'm a H/G at heart, reading a zillion D/Gs wouldn't be a problem at all.

Right. Am off to "study lit" now.

I was supposed to post this last week, on my birthday, but couldn't finish it in time. Stole it off someone's blog- the person was celebrating her 23rd birthday and had to make 23 lists of 23 things! Must have taken a long, long time.

Phew. Prepare for a really long read.

16 lists of 16 things

1. 16 places that I would like to visit or visit again

1. New York City. [5th Avenue, the Met, everything.]
2. Norway. [I don't know why. I've just always been attracted to it- maybe it's the name.]
3. London.
4. Paris. [Read 'Almost French', and I promise that you will too.]
5. Australian Outback.
6. New Zealand.
7. Bali. [Just one of those quiet, non-tourist-infested beaches where I don't have to bother about my clothes and everything.]
8. Rural France.
9. Las Vegas. [Pretty lights.]
10. The Grand Canyon.
11. The Great Barrier Reef.
12. Greece.
13. Kenya.
14. China. [Yes, yes, I know. But I'm a Chinese, after all, and I'd like to see where I really came from.]
15. Alaska.
16. A place no one but myself has been/ever will go to.

2. 16 things that I hope to do in the next 16 years

1. Write a book (or two).
2. Publish it/them.
3. Meet someone wonderful and get married.
4. Write more R/Hr.
5. Finish reading all of Jane Austen's, L.M. Montgomery's and Louisa May Alcott's books.
6. Learn another language.
7. Go travelling. For real.
8. Become rich and successful.
9. Learn to drive.
10. Learn to cook.
11. Take dancing classes. (I'm not sure which, though I quite like the idea of ballroom dancing. And the whole waltzing-with-a-rose-between-my-lips idea is very appealing, though it'd prob look ridiculous if I tried it.)
12. Go antique shopping.
13. Visit art museums.
14. Obtain membership to the Esplanade library.
15. Go skiing/bungee-jumping/sky-diving.
16. Learn to ice-skate and rollerblade.

3. 16 books that you should read (because I love them)

1. A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks
2. Going On Sixteen by Betty Cavanna
3-5. The 'Emily' series by L.M. Montgomery
6. The Hours by Michael Cunningham
7-11. The 'Harry Potter' series by J.K. Rowling
12. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
13-14. 'Eight Cousins' and 'Rose In Bloom' by Louisa May Alcott
15. The Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
16. Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell

4. 16 good quotes

1. Only the soul that loves is happy. -Goethe
2. You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. -Ray Bradbury
3. 20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did. So throw off the bow lines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the tail winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain
4. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-Albert Einstein
5. We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. -Mother Teresa
6. Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who did not hear the music. -Angela Monet
7. The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. – St. Augustine
8. "Amantium irae amoris integratio est." ("Lovers' quarrels are a renewal of love.") -Terence (c.185-c.159 BC), on why R/H works
9. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
10. A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. -Maya Angelou
11. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. -Henry David Thoreau
12. If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. -Kahlil Gibran
13. No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. -The Dead Poet's Society
14. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. –anonymous
15. So when you hear someone sneer at the Harry Potter books, either they haven't read them, and are therefore too ignorant to be listened to, or they haven't understood them, and are therefore not clever enough to take part in serious adult conversations. -Orson Scott Card.
16. I fight cynicism. It’s too easy. It’s really boring. It’s much harder to be positive and see the wonder of everything. Cynicism is a bunch of people who aren’t as talented as other people, knocking them because they make them feel even more untalented. — Ewan McGregor

5. 16 characters whom I love

1-2. Ron and Ginny Weasley (HP)
3. Julie Ferguson (Going On Sixteen)
4. Emily Byrd Starr (The 'Emily' Series)
5-6. Rose and Mac Campbell (Rose In Bloom)
7-8. Hiiragizawa Eriol and Daidouji Tomoyo (CCS)
9-10. Obi-wan Kenobi and Padme (Star Wars)
11-12. Ashley and Melly Wilkes (GWTW)
13. Alice McKinley (The 'Alice' series)
14. Sara Crewe (A Little Princess)
15. Virginia Woolf (The Hours)
16. Draco Malfoy (fanon)

6. 16 beliefs

1. I believe in God.
2. I believe that there is no such thing as coincidence.
3. I believe that there are many things that science cannot explain.
4. I believe in love.
5. I believe in the power of love.
6. I believe that love can't solve all problems though it should.
7. I believe that that shouldn't stop us from loving anyway.
8. I believe that hoping does help.
9. I believe that there is magic in nature.
10. I believe that there is no clear line between the good and the bad.
11. I believe that the death sentence should never be issued.
12. I believe that there are things worse than death.
13. I believe that it is possible to love a complete stranger.
14. I believe there is substance in dreams.
15. I believe that no matter how much we loathe studying, having an education is incredibly important.
16. I believe that everyone on earth is here for a purpose.

7. 16 things that I love about my life

1. My family.
2. My friends.
3. My books.
4. My room.
5. My other life (online).
6. My dreams.
7. My stories.
8. My home.
9. My school.
10. My obsessions.
11. My privacy.
12. Its cosiness.
13. Its imperfection.
14. Its peace and quiet.
15. Its hustle-and-bustle.
16. Its contradictions.

8. 16 things that I am often seen doing

1. Reading.
2. Writing.
3. Sleeping.
4. Day-dreaming.
5. Staring off into space.
6. Going online.
7. Smiling.
8. Thinking.
9. Shopping.
10. Typing.
11. Reading fics.
12. Gushing over assorted gorgeous people.
13. Laughing.
14. Eating.
15. Complaining.
16. Slacking.

9. 16 things that I love to touch/hold

1. Flower petals.
2. Rain.
3. The wind.
4. Fabric.
5. Soft hair.
6. Paper.
7. Pen.
8. Pencil.
9. Hardcover books.
10. The computer keyboard.
11. Silk.
12. Sand. (the dry, fine sort)
13. Leather.
14. The (computer) mouse.
15. Velvet.
16. Wax.

10. 16 things that I love to hear

1. Thunder.
2. Rain.
3. Strong wind.
4. Scratching of a pen or pencil.
5. Typing.
6. Turning of pages.
7. Whirring of a fan.
8. Waves crashing against the shore.
9. Natural running water.
10. Crickets.
11. Piano music.
12. Violins.
13. Rustling of paper bags and tissue paper (the sort in shoe boxes).
14. Cutting of cardboard.
15. Crunching of potato chips.
16. Choirs.

11. 16 things that I love to taste

1. Spring onions.
2. Garlic.
3. Thai chilli.
4. Garlic Chilli.
5. Lemon.
6. Pepper.
7. Fish head curry.
8. Dark chocolate.
9. Liquor chocolate.
10. Mozarella cheese.
11. Cinammon
12. Vanilla.
13. Milo.
14. Apple (flavour).
15. Hazelnut.
16. Tiramisu.

12. 16 things that I love to see

1. Sunrises.
2. Sunsets.
3. The beach.
4. Rain.
5. Grey skies.
6. Updates.
7. White roses.
8. Bare stretches of sand.
9. Lightning (when I'm indoors).
10. Letters.
11. The moon.
12. The stars.
13. The sky in general.
14. Autumnal trees.
15. Book sales.
16. Waterfalls.

13. 16 things that I love to smell

1. Rain.
2. The beach.
3. Italian food.
4. Veggies being fried.
5. Fresh flowers.
6. The ground after a rain.
7. Freshly-dug soil.
8. New books.
9. Old, musty books.
10. Freshly-photocopied worksheets.
11. Shopping malls.
12. Mint shampoo.
13. Citrus fruits.
14. Citrusy perfumes.
15. Peach.
16. Lavender bath salts.

14. 16 childhood memories

1. My cousins and I sitting on the shelf and jumping off, and laughing ourselves silly landing in comical positions. We were playing zi4 sha1 which, when I think of it now, is rather morbid.
2. My sis and I playing princess. All we did was sit around with blankets and pillows all piled around us and speak with weird, contrived accents.
3. Reading every single Sweet Valley twins book ever published over a zillion times or so and being able to recite every detail about every single character, event, plot, etc. in the series.
4. My cousins and I wearing the same Mickey Mouse outfit every Saturday to my grandmother's house so that we'd be completely identical.
5. Making up elaborate gymnastics routines on the swing.
6. Dancing the hocky-pocky (it was my favourite song ever).
7. Watching Power Rangers every Saturday morning. It was my one obsession; I adored the Yellow Ranger (Trini) and I bought all the stickers and called Kristy during every episode so we could watch it in silence and giggle over the funny parts together.
8. Climbing onto the table in a coffeeshop because there was a cat underneath it.
9. Accidentally slamming the car door onto my sister's fingers.
10. Knocking my teeth against the coffee table while reaching under it to get something. Bled and bled and I cried and cried, more than I ever have.
11. My cousins and I almost-drowning in a hotel swimming pool. We were struggling to get to the side of the pool (cos only Han could swim at that time and Angie and I were clinging onto her, which was NOT a good idea) when Angie finally had enough sense to scream for help. My aunt managed to pull us all out with one hand.
12. Peeling the sides off the bread before eating it; was really picky when I was young. (Still am now, but at least I eat the whole slice of bread.)
13. Always getting out of the car before my dad drove into the car wash because I was scared of all the loud noises and mops and everything.
14. Having tea parties with my stuffed toys.
15. Getting lost in a shopping centre. It was the worst feeling in the world.
16. When celebrating lantern festival with my extended family, my lantern (the paper type, cos the batteries on my other lantern got used up) caught fire, and my uncle had to step on it repeatedly to put it out.

15. 16 things around my house that say something about me

1. The quantity of books lying around.
2. The type of books in my shelf.
3. The organised mess that is my room.
4. The fridge, which is always stocked with chocolate.
5. The boxes and boxes of tea.
6. The bathroom water which is always steaming hot.
7. The fact that none of the pens in my pencil holder work; only the ones in my pencil box are of any use.
8. The personal touches in my room- the photographs, the cards, the sentimental bits and pieces.
9. My collection of paper bags.
10. Ancient things saved from my childhood.
11. The fact that the computer is almost always switched on.
12. The numerous files and folders and compartments- I love those.
13. The 3 bookshelves in my room.
14. The fact that I never go anywhere without turning on the light.
15. My wardrobe.
16. My Harry Potter calender.

16. 16 great words

1. Sparkling.
2. Grey.
3. Rain.
4. Glimmering.
5. Dazzling.
6. Pearl.
7. Glossy.
8. Crimson.
9. Fragile.
10. Mist.
11. Scarlet.
12. Powder.
13. Faerie.
14. Angels.
15. Milk.
16. Glass.

... This is weird. It's a Saturday afternoon, with no significant sporting event or tv show [that I know of] to keep people away from their coms, and there's only one person in all of my MSN list online - or, well, one person I actually speak to, anyway - : rah.

That's really kind of sad. Where is everyone?

Boo.

...

Oh! On the brighter side, I watched the first episode of Survivor: Pearl Islands last night. 'Twas very very entertaining. Laughed a lot. But I have a feeling that this season won't be as interesting as all the others.

I liked the hippie! The one who showed up in a multi-coloured wisp of a singlet. And who later wore a skirt. He reminds me of Hagrid and of vikings, for some reason. He has this way of speaking that's really funny. And he seems really genuine. I hope he wins.

Then there was the girl who could speak Spanish. I didn't really like her at first because she looked really grumpy and didn't smile once. But then in the market she spoke so fluently and helped her group tremendously, and I was really impressed. She has a very no-nonsense attitude, and I respect that. So I also hope she wins. Oh, well, either way I'm supporting the Drake tribe.

GO DRAKE!
GO DRACO!

You know, when I left the house this morning I was thinking, "Prelims, here I come. You're scary, but that's not going to stop me one bit."

How wrong I was. Now the only way I'll get an A1 for A-math is if I didn't make a single careless mistake on first part of my paper and if I score full marks for paper two on Friday which, considering my squashed ego, I don't think will happen.

Bye bye, HCJC.

Turning sixteen is supposed to be quite an experience, but it's not. It's just another day, really. I spent a good part of my Sweet Sixteen studying.

Then guess who showed up?

I was sitting at the coffee table, trying to read through some physics while my dad was trying to solve the horrid a math prelim paper, when I heard this really loud 'SURPRISE!' and looked up to see Jy, Ade, Beek, Peis and Jackie.

I really was quite shocked. To the point where I was speechless and did a lot of goldfish-esque gaping. I mean, it was Saturday! During the holidays! I was dressed very shabbily in PE shorts and a 'forever friends' tee, and my hair was a mess from me pulling at it whenever I couldn't do a question.

And they were dressed nicely in assorted jeans, berms, tanks and tees. Blah. They brought me presents! A can of coke and a dreamcatcher and cake and a windchime and glow-in-the-dark stickers and a teardrop candle etc.

-Sniff- Am really quite touched. 'Twas really a sweet gesture, especially as I know how busy everyone is with preparing for prelims. So here's a BIG thank you to everyone. I love you!

Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

- "You'll Be In My Heart", Phil Collins.

It's a beautiful song. I cannot stop playing it in my head.

After doing a two-hour Math paper today (NYGH, A Math, Paper 1), I stood up and promptly heard a series of creaks.

... It was my bones and joints cracking from sheer stiffness.

(Sing to the tune of milo commercial)
~ It's wonderful what studying can do for you! ~

I realised today that I inhale tea like a smoker.

Staring at nothing, tea cup clutched in my right hand, I lift the cup to my lips, take life-inducing sips. Two shaky breaths, and I lift the cup again, for measure, for balance, for strength.

I think I'm getting addicted.

I have added a new sort-of-feature to my blog: countdown to the O's.

It'll be depressing, but I'm hoping it'll be motivational as well. Cos if not I'll waste all my time slacking online. Which is bad. What I need is a real shock sometimes.

Paris is a glimmering brunette wrapped in Burberry, this season's Prada boots zipped knee high, mauve lips pouted.

The hols are here, the hols are here!

... Right. My mom insists on calling them the September holidays, though I keep telling her that it's really a cleverly disguised study break. By 'study break' I don't mean a break from studying, I mean a break for studying. In which the sole purpose of having the break is to study. Non-Singaporeans+SN+4U won't understand this, but it's sadly true.

Still, I'm glad for it. At least I get to sleep in. [Am not at all a morning person, as my family will warn you.] And at least instead of wasting time in school pretending to be listening intently while I'm really staring off into space and thinking about R/Hr I can get some studying done. Or at least I'll attempt to.

... Even if nothing gets done it'll be a very noble effort. Which is what counts.

Right. Oh, went for the interview yesterday! 'Twasn't as bad as I'd expected; in fact it turned out quite well I think. My interviewer was really nice, from what I could tell. Which isn't a lot. Oh, well, I'll just cross my fingers and hope that no one reads the newsletter.

Oh crap. Crap crap crap. Just... oh dear.

I just got a call from one of my catechists. She said that Fr Johnson selected a few letters-to-the-Archbishop and it happens that Mark and I were selected. [I'm not sure if we are the only ones, but we are the only from our class.]

And the church newsletter, the one that's starting soon, is going to interview us on our Before/After confirmation... state of being. The thing is, I haven't done much. I was going to do so much after confirmation: join a youth group and be more involved in church and everything. I had plans. But then there was school. And all the other things like procrastination and the internet and such.

So nothing much has been done.

... I put my heart into that letter, but I can't help feeling that it was chosen because of its... grammatical accuracy or whatever, because the content of that letter cannot compare to what many other people have written in theirs. And it is a bit unfair, I know, but it isn't my fault.

It's going to be horrible, I can tell. Mark is about the most religious person in my class and he's going to have a marvellous, in-depth interview. While I'll just mumble little bits of excuses like 'Prelims are coming, you see, that's why...'

You know what the worst thing about this is? It's that all this is happening, it's making me wake up to the reality that I haven't done anything, that I should be doing something worthwhile, but the only thing I'm thinking about now is how this is going to make me look bad.

At the moment, I don't like the person I've become.